


Lallybroch

by SapphireSassenach



Category: Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-04-22 18:11:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4845371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSassenach/pseuds/SapphireSassenach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Jamie and Claire never had to fight for the bonnie prince? This is my idea of what might have happened if he and Claire got to stay at Lallybroch after their return from France.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I had felt it for the first time yesterday, sometime late into the night. Jamie had been fast asleep beside me, lost somewhere in the deep world of sleep. I was glad he was asleep, for my reaction was not one I wanted him to see. 

It was a flutter, deep within my womb, a tiny, but distinct nudge. I had hoped, of course, we both had, that we would be blessed with another child after the travesty of our first’s stillbirth. The topic was still a sore spot between us, Jamie still blamed himself for her loss, and I still felt her with me. Sometimes, when I hold little Maggie, I can close my eyes and stoke the cheek, not of my niece, but of my daughter. I would always mourn for her and I knew that. Even if this child comes into the world healthy, and maybe if we are blessed with more children after that, she will always be my first child, my first gift from god, now turned angel. 

It feels like I failed her, although, I tell myself that it was out of my hands. If this child is born healthy, why not her? It seems silly to dwell on the uncontrollable, but how can I not, when the wounds were still so fresh. 

“Claire! Ye’ve been washing that same shirt for nye on an hour it seems. What’s amiss?” Jenny asked. 

Startled, I dropped said shirt back into the basin, and watched as the fabric soaked back up with water, and started sinking to the bottom, weighed down by the weight of gravity. I watched while trying to think of something to say to Jenny. I was also aware of her watching my every facial expression. Jenny was like her brother in the way that she never missed a beat. A strong sense intuition is a very thick thread that runs through their blood. 

I turned to look at her and gave her a slight smile, “Just thinking about life, I suppose”, I said. 

I knew that Jamie told her about the baby. She knew I was pregnant while we were in France. Jamie had written her often, and I usually finished the letters after his hand grew too sore to finish. Although, I expect that he had cause to write her a quick note before we made our way back home, so as not to be surprised as to why there was no child along with us. I hadn’t asked Jamie whether they had discussed it since we’ve been back home. I had not spoken to Jenny, and neither did I want to for a while, and she had enough sense not to ask. 

But now, with her seeming to look straight through my carefully placed mask of strength, and no one else near, I felt as though she were a welcome place to spill my heart. I met her gaze for a moment before sitting down on one of the stools near, looking down at the ground, as if it would tell me how to begin. She followed my lead and pulled up a stool as well. I felt her hand on my shoulder and a gentle squeeze.

“Go on, then. I feel as though, ye’d be needin to talk for a long while now and to a women. There are so many things ye can tell your man, but sometime ye need another women to tell what cannot be described to them”. 

And with her understanding eyes, I felt the floodgates of my soul beginning to open.

“I don’t know quite where to start, I…think…well I believe….I’m pregnant, again”, I said softly and quietly, looking down at my fingers and twisting my silver ring. 

“Aye, I thought ye might be. Ye have that glow, and yer breests are fuller than when ye first arrived, but I thought it best not to mention it until ye found out yourself. How far along are ye?”

I smiled a little at her directness and wasn’t surprised a bit that she surmised the reason for this conversation before even I had. 

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “More than a few months, I expect. I felt a slight nudge last night for the first time. I had suspected, but I had been too afraid to hope. After…Faith…I just, I wasn’t even sure I wanted it too soon.” I glanced at her face, but her Fraser mask was up and I know there would be no reading it. “You have no idea how much I want this baby, but I feel as though I failed my first one, and if this one lives it will be unjust to her…I know that sounds ridiculous, but there is it.” 

I kept looking down at the ground as if it would reassure me or that it would give me answers of some kind. If I focused hard enough on it, perhaps I could disappear in it. I felt Jenny’s gaze on me, analyzing, trying to figure out exactly what to say most likely. 

She may understand my loss more than Jamie could, because she too has carried life within her, but she can never truly know it, never having lost a child. And I pray she will never have to. 

“It’s no a silly thought to have, Claire” Jenny said. She reached out to pat my hand and then gripped it with a force so strong; I felt my bones rub together. “It would be strange to not have these thoughts. Faith will always be your first child and she will forever live in your heart that way. Ye failed her in no way, sometimes these things seem to make no sense, but…I have to think that it’s a part of a plan, because I would go insane to no think that way.” She sighed and averted her eyes, squinting at something in the distance. “I felt it was my fault when my father died, and I felt it was my fault Jamie was flogged, because of the way I treated Randall. But after time, you come to realize that life is easy on no one, and sometimes things are destined to happen a certain way, and there’s no a thing you can do to stop them. I ken me telling ye isna going to stop ye from thinking these things but perhaps it may give ye some ease, in time. It wasna your fault and your next child will be better because of their sister’s memory. And ye should talk to Jamie about it, even if he may not understand it all, he will listen and sometimes that’s just enough.”

She turned back to me and looked me dead in the eyes, with a look that could pierce the heart of the devil.

“Ye understand?” She asked.

I looked into her eyes and saw her ghosts, and blame, and doubt. I squeezed her hand and took a deep breath. 

“Yes, I do. Thank you, Jenny. Truly.” I said and gave her a small smile.

She smiled back and stood up. She grabbed one of the shirts she had been washing before. 

“Not much left. An hour or so, and then we can go make some more candles, we’re running low.” She said, scrubbing away, eyes focused on her work.

I gave a small laugh. Jenny would not treat a soul different no matter what she knew about them and I was no exception. That was the Fraser way it seemed, directness and practicality. 

Effective, I thought to myself. And picked of a pair of Jamie’s trousers to wash and let my hand brush across my abdomen with a small smile. 

Dinner was a quiet affair. With no guests to entertain, conversation was easy and flowing between the four of us. Jamie and Ian mostly discussing the pros and cons of the potato harvest a couple days ago, with Jenny and I discussing the seemingly flu type bug going around some of the tenants houses. Jenny retired early, her pregnancy causing her to yawn her way through the stuffed cabbage. I seem to have lucked out this time in the aspect, and I sent a silent prayer to god I would not have terrible morning sickness again. Jamie and Ian both went to the laird’s office to further discuss monetary issues, but I thought that this would most likely include drinking whiskey based on previous times when Jamie has come to bed more singled minded than usual. I went up to our bedroom and finally unlaced my stays after another day of torture. I must find a way to craft a makeshift brassiere, without giving Jenny or the servants heart palpitations.

Recently, I had actually been having trouble falling asleep at night, even after Jamie came to bed. The constant mumbling of my mind keeping me awake until I feel into a disturbed sleep. To prevent this, I had begun to take up sewing, a dreadful task that I thoroughly disliked, but I found the mindless work let my mind rest and go into a relaxed state of mind that would help me fall asleep later. 

I picked up my recent attempts at making a nightgown with some left over fabric Jenny had given me. I was careful to keep it hidden away from the servants who would most likely be scandalized at it’s length and fit, with was more alike to something you would find in my time. It was almost halfway done now and the fleeting thought of leaving it be and turning the rest into a child’s blanket came to me. I picked the unused fabric up, considering. Hope is a dangerous thing. Of course, I had no reason to think this pregnancy would end in the disaster of my last, but I knew I could not help these dark thoughts creeping into my head.

I sighed and thought to hell with it, and picked up the fabric and started sewing. 

The door opened about an hour later, bringing in Jamie, looking at peace and with the satisfaction with a man who spent a day well and was looking forward to bed. I instinctually hid my work, as if it were an ill wish I was crafting and not a baby blanket. He smiled at me and then glanced at the fabric hidden behind my back and his smile grew wider. He loved to make comments on my homemaking skills. 

“What in heaven do ye have there, Sassenach?” Jamie said, laughing as he came over to my chair. I had been sitting by the fire for warmth, but I didn’t feel truly heated through until Jamie pulled me to my feet and wrapped his arms around me. We simply held each other for a long moment, enjoying the simple feel of one another. I closed my eyes and breathed him in, smelling of his usual male scent of sweat, hay, and Jamie. 

I didn’t realize he was reaching behind me until he made a swift grab and picked up the blanket with one hand and brought it nearer to the fire to investigate. I let him have it and stood back, suddenly very shy.

“Ahh, what exactly is it, Sassenach?” Jamie said, after a couple moments of perplexed investigation. 

I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. This wasn’t exactly the way I wanted to tell him, but I felt he should know. If only so he didn’t think I was insane and trying to stich strange horse designs on fabric. 

“Well, I suppose it was supposed to be some sort of blanket, or a …swaddling cloth.” I said, carefully watching for his reaction. Jamie had the mask that Jenny did when told news unexpectedly, but I had learned over the course of our few marriage years, that he always did visibly react for only a split second in the eyes, only noticeable to someone who knew him well. 

The small flash that I saw was not what I was expecting, for it was not one of surprise, but of joy. He smiled gently at me and put the fabric back down on the chair and came over to stand in front of me. He brought my chin up to look at him and leaned down to kiss me. A gentle kiss, full of tenderness, understanding, and love. We parted and our foreheads came together.

“You bloody bastard”, I said without heat. “You knew already, didn’t you?”

He chuckled slightly and sat down next to me. He put his arm around me and pulled me tight against him. Simultaneously, cradling me like a kitten and holding me tight enough to make me feel like nothing ill could ever touch me. He picked up my hand and gently kissed my silver ring.

“Aye,” he chuckled, gently. “I’ve suspected for some time now, but I thought it best to let you figure it out on your own. Ye havena bleed now for 62 days, and your cycles before had always been regular. I think maybe ye knew as well, but were afraid to talk to me.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder and a few tears escaped, running down my cheeks until they fell down the curve of my neck. Jamie drew his finger down my cheek, whipping away the water tracks. I sniffed and looked up to his face.

“I suppose…I didn’t want to bring up…I just didn’t wish you to feel as though…” I stammered.

“Aye, I ken what ye mean, Sassenach,” he said lightly. “I ken we both blamed ourselves for our first lass’ loss. But I think that it was in god’s hands, no ours. We will always have her with us, even after we fill this house with more of our children.”

I nodded, unable to speak. I took a deep breath and managed a smile at him. 

“I know that now, Jamie, I do. And I’m truly happy about this baby…I never thought I would have been able to carry Faith, and now to be blessed with another chance, another little baby… yes, I’m too happy to describe,” I said, my voice breaking at the end with emotion.

A few tears did slip again, but tears of joy, tears of hope. I laughed and my smile grew wider. Jamie smiled back at me, his wide mouth stretching so wide, I thought it would split. He grabbed me by the shoulders and brought me onto his lap in a sudden, rough movement, wrapping me up in a tight cocoon of his embrace. I clutched at him hard, and I felt a few of his tears of his own spill into my hair.

“Myself as well, Claire. Thank ye. Ye’ve given me more than I could ever have hoped for, more joy than I deserve,” he said with great feeling into my curls. 

I pulled back and looked into his simmering blue eyes, filled with happiness that I knew was echoed in mine. 

Staring into those eyes, I put my hands on both his cheeks and brought him so close to me, his eyes turned into a massive blue orb. “I love you, so much, James Fraser”, I whispered. 

He started into my eyes and nodded slightly, overcome with feeling, unable to speak. He let out a sigh and pulled my lips to his, hard. He twined both of his hands into my curls and bent my head slightly backwards, while he kissed me. 

He did such a thorough job of it, I could feel my lips throbbing when he finally released them and moved to rain kisses on my jaw. 

“Mhmm,” I sighed and he tugged my hair gently and moved his mouth to my neck. 

He let go of my hair and pulled back to look into my eyes and then placed a warm, tender kiss on my lips, parting slowly. He sighed and moved his hands to my hips to pick me up, and then gently lower me onto the bed, with his body covering mine immediately. 

He slithered down to kneel by where my feet lay, and brought his hands up to caress my legs, moving slowly from my calves to the top of my thighs, bringing my shift up as he went. He brought his hands back down to my feet and picked the left one up to bring it to his mouth and pressed a kiss the sole of my foot. He then began rubbing it, firmly. 

I sighed and relaxed further into the pillows and closed my eyes. After a few moments of this, he softly raked a fingernail from my toes, all the way to my heel. I jerked back my foot instinctively at the tickling sensation, but Jamie pulled it straight back to him. 

“Ah, found a wee spot have we?” Jamie said, smiling, rubbing the spot he just tickled. I squinted my eyes at him in warning, but was unable to keep a smile off my face for long. 

“Let’s find some more, shall we?” he said, as he began gently moving his hands up my legs again, gently this time, using his nails to slightly scratch my skin. I squirmed at this, and tried to jerk my legs closed instinctively as he reached my sensitive inner thighs. 

He immediately pushed them back open and pushed them down onto the bed, as he moved to lay his cheek against my thigh. 

“Nay, lass. No escaping now,” he said, as he tugged my shift out of the way. Then, he lowered his head. 

I seamed to lose my awareness of anything but sensation. I brought my hands up to grab onto his locks, gently stroking a few wayward curls, as I submitted to the feeling of his warm mouth. 

He popped up a few moments later, while I lay gasping on the pillows, staring up at the ceiling. He moved up to lie between my thighs and pulled my shift the rest of the way off. He pulled his shirt and belt off, then yanked his kilt off. 

“I’m glad that our room is fair away from the fields, Sassenach. Or else, I think you’d wake the whole farm with yer wee noises,” he said, while pulling off his boots. 

I finally brought my head up to glance at him. He was flushed from cheeks to chest, and his breast heaved, making his now bare abdominals contract in a very pleasing way. I reached up and pulled him down to me, so that he lay fully on top of me. Every inch of our bare skin pressed hard against each other. He brought his hands up to smooth down my hair and kissed me again, passionately and deep. 

I grew impatient and took hold of his bottom, pausing to feel the hard muscles, and then pulled him against me. He took my meaning and brought a hand down between us, and then came into me, slowly, inch by inch. I gasped into his mouth and he swallowed the noises, smiling against me. He lie still after he was all the way inside, rubbing my arms and pressing kisses to my neck. I wrapped my legs around him and rocked into him. He brought himself up, laying his hands on either side of my head, maintaining eye contact, and began moving. 

Sometime later, we lied intertwined, facing each other; with one of my legs between his and our arms wrapped around each other. Our breathing was slow, and bodies sated, now simply enjoying being close to each other. Jamie leaned over to kiss me softly on the lips, and then on the forehead. I reached up and brushed a lock of hair from his face, and gently slide my hand down his cheek, tracing the shape of his face. He gently turned me, so we lie like spoons together. My back nestled into the warmth of his body. He brought the blankets up to cover us, and then gently slid his hand down to cup the small swell of my belly. 

He stroked the skin there, making what I know was to be a silent promise to both the child and me. I will protect you for always, he said. I sighed, and brought my hand down to rest over his, and gently squeezed. We both snuggled in for the night, and I fell asleep to the warmth of his breath in my ear and to his gentle stroking of our second chance, our baby.


	2. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's another little tibit...some Claire and Fergus bonding

I was walking over the last hill to get back to the main house, when I heard light footsteps behind me. I froze and instinctively moved my hand to protect my now large stomach. I slowly turned around, and gripped my medicine box harder in my other hand. I saw no one immediately, but as I continued to gaze out to the hills, I saw a small area of dark wavy hair among the green grass. I relaxed, realizing whom my shadow was, and who had been my shadow for the last month now.

“You can come out, Fergus. I see you,” I said, and I went to sit down in the shade of the near tree. As I carefully eased myself down on the ground, moaning slightly in pleasure as I took my shoes off. I looked up to see Fergus sheepishly scurry up the hill and came to stand in front of me. I looked him over for a minute before speaking, he had grown quite a bit in the last year, and his hair dark hair had grown out nearly to his shoulders. He kept his eyes on the ground, and didn’t look up. 

“Come, come. Take a seat,” I said while taking out a bannock I had packed for my journey back. 

I had been visiting some of the tenants today, which was my only real opportunity to get out of the house. Jamie was constantly worried about my health, even though the course of this pregnancy had run smoothly, with no alarming circumstances. Still, he was adamant about me not overexerting myself, especially now that I was seven months gone. The only excuse I had to leave was to visit the ill, but even then I was usually accompanied by whoever was available, which was usually Murtagh, now that he’s come to stay with us; however, I snuck out today, which I’m sure I’d hear about tonight. 

Though, my shadow the last mouth had been Fergus. I have caught him more than a few times following me around, and constantly saying he was ill, so I would come and examine him. 

He sat down next to me and took half of the bannock I had split in half. 

“Do you want to tell me why you were following me?” I asked, trying my best to sound patient.

He shrugged his shoulders, and tentatively peaked up at my face. He seemed to be trying to figure out what to say. Exhausted from the walk and too tired to pry, I allowed him time and closed my eyes while leaning my head against the tree. 

I let my mind drift to the small movements of the baby. This one kicked much more often than Faith had. Jamie was thrilled, thinking that he would be a strong fighter. For he had felt just how strong the kicks were, as he usually slept behind me with his hand resting against my stomach. The movements entranced him, as he would watch my bare stomach move to the rolling of the baby.   
I must have dozed off for a few moments, because Fergus’ voice startled me to consciousness. 

“It’s just, I saw you were taking no one with you, and milord did ask me to protect you at all times. I want to make sure…I just wanted to see you safe,” he said, while biting his full bottom lip. 

I eyed him for a moment, and gently reached out to place my hand on his. “And is that the reason you have been following me around lately, and pretending to be sick?” I asked, gently. 

And suddenly he turned to me, fierce. He wrapped his arms around me so tightly, the breath went out of me. His arms barley fit around my whole swelled belly. When he spoke it was so muffled from my dress, I had to listen very carefully in order to understand his speech. 

“I’m sorry, Mistress! I know I have been lying and I’m sorry! But…I’m just scared.” He voice dropped several octaves now. 

I squeezed his hand, and brushed a piece of grass from his hair. “What are you so afraid of?”

He buried his face into my stomach, and was slightly started when the occupant thrust their foot against the high part of my stomach, where his face was. 

He brought his head up and I saw there were tears brimming in his eyes. He gently patted my belly, and said so quietly I could scarcely hear him. 

“I’m afraid what happened last time will happen again. It was near this time that you lost the last baby and you were so sick afterward. Everyone thought you’d die! I saw you there in the hospital once, when you were gone with fever. You are the closest thing I’ve ever…I’m just afraid, I dinna want to loose you, too.” 

I smiled slightly as his attempted Scots accent and pulled him close to me. He clung to me as if I was going to disappear from sight that very moment. I sighed, and rested my head against his. 

“What happened last time won’t happen again, Fergus. There have been no problems with this pregnancy, both the baby and I are healthy, and there is no reason to think anything bad will happen. I am strong, so is the child. You felt him kick, mh? We will both be fine, and then you’ll have a new little companion to play with.”  
I rubbed my hand on his arm, in what I hoped was a soothing manner. He sniffled and rubbed the back of his hand against his eyes, and looked up at me with a heart-breaking expression. 

“Do you promise?” He asked in a small voice. 

I looked into his eyes, seeing the small child he never got to be. I brushed my hand across his cheek, and although I knew it dangerous to make this promise, I said, “I promise.” 

He peered into my face for a few moments, and seemed to be mollified at what he saw. “Okay.” He whispered in a very small voice. I smiled and kissed his cheek. 

“Come, along then. We don’t want to be gone too long, or Milord may have a cow,” I said. Fergus giggled at my strange expression and moved up on his feet to help my stand back up. I slipped my shoes back on, and pressed a hand on my belly, pleased to feel the strong kick in response. Fergus laid his hand on mine and leaned in. 

“I look forward to meeting you,” he giggled again. And grabbed my hand as we both made our way back to the house.


	3. Lazy Starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little piece of what I think a lazy morning would look like at Lallybroch. Enjoy.

“Ye must not kick your mother so when she is sleeping, m’annsachd.”

I slowly came to awareness, as the gentle nudges developed into strong jolts, aimed towards my liver. I cracked my eyes open and saw a mass of red hair sprawled across my huge stomach. I sighed and closed my eyes again. I was used to waking up this way in the morning, with Jamie whispering and cuddling with the child inside. I felt his large, calloused hand spread out over my belly, soothing the place where the baby was kicking, but when he or she head their father’s voice, the kicks started up even harder, excited to say good morning.

I let out a breath as a really strong swift kick came from within, and I slowly moved my hand to lie over Jamie’s to try and sooth the child. Jamie chuckled against my skin and the vibrations made me shiver. He gently pressed a kiss to the targeted area.

Jamie laughed again and moved his head to peek up at my face. “A bonny wee fighter he’ll be, Sassenach,” Jamie said, as he shushed my belly once more. I moved my hand to lie on his head and gently ran my fingers through his ruddy curls.

“And just what makes you think it’s a boy? We thought Faith a boy, too." I said, as he almost started purring from my rubbing. He rubbed his cheek against my bare skin and my body became a mass of gooseflesh from the tickle of his scruff.

“Aye, we did. I suppose this bairn could surprise us as well, we don’t have long to wait though, hmm?” As he spoke the child began to do rolls in my stomach to demonstrate their vitality.

“No, thank god. I think maybe a few more weeks at the most. Jenny thinks so too, though you can’t be one hundred percent certain in this time.” I said, while watching the child move the skin of my belly.

Jamie was quiet for a long while, tracing patterns onto my skin. I could tell he was thinking about something from the way his eyebrows were slightly knit together and the slight indents in his forehead. He opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it. This process went on for about five minutes before he finally made a sound of inquiry, another Scottish noise I was quite familiar with at this point.

“Yes?” I asked, while smiling slightly.

He glanced up me, and I lost my breath for a moment. It happened every once in a while, when he would glance at me randomly and I would be taken away by his beauty. His hair was crumpled with sleep, dangling over his face. His eyes were that deep ocean color, and his face held a look of innocence, love, and knowledge all at once. As I looked at his face, I caught a glimpse of the child he once was.

He was oblivious to my gaze, which was not of his character, so I could tell he was bothered by something. He moved himself up so he was lying next to me now and cupped my cheek with his other hand.

“It will be well, wont it? There’s been naught wrong with this pregnancy. You and the bairn have been healthy. The birth…it will be…it isna..,” he trailed off while looking intently into my eyes. I brought my hand up to cup his face, and ran my hand down his high cheekbone. I knew I could not make him the exact same promise I made to Fergus, because I did promise him honesty.

“I believe it will be, Jamie There are always problems that can arise, but I believe everything will go well and that I can promise.”

He looked down and smiled tightly, trying to swallow his fear. He had a good cause for it, his own mother dying in childbirth in this very bed, and what had happened to me before in France.

I trailed my fingers down to his chin to turn his face back up to mine. “There are never any guarantees in life, Jamie and you know that well. All we can do is pray and trust that everything is going to be ok,” I said as softy as I could, while stroking the fine hairs on his chin.

He pushed one of my curls behind my ear and nodded slightly.

“Aye,” he said quietly. “I will pray will all my being. I only wish I could take away the pain ye will go through.”

I thought for a moment just how to phrase my wording. I took a deep breath and sat up a bit.

“Don’t fret about the pain, it will hurt a lot, but I will be glad to endure that pain for only a day or two because at the end of all that pain will be the start of our baby. And there could be nothing more worth pain than that.”

He sat up next to me and pressed his hand against my stomach, and we both smiled when the child nudged where he pressed.

“I ken that very well, mo mighean donn. All will be well, I know it,” he said with conviction, and pressed a kiss to my forehead and then my lips. He groaned and ran his hands across his face, and moved to get off the bed. I reached out and pulled him back to me.

“Come back here and kiss your wife goodbye properly,” I demanded with a mockingly stern expression.

He smirked at me and said, “How could I be so daft, Sassenach? You’ll have to excuse your husband’s serious lapse in sense.”

He brought both hands to cup my cheeks and tilted my head back and brought his lips down to mine. By the time he was through, I feel as I had come undone. He moved half an inch away, both of us breathing heavily. He ran a finger across my swollen lips and pressed a very gentle kiss to my bottom lip.

“Did that suit ye, lass?”

I breathed out very slowly. “I suppose that will have to suffice.”

He smiled and pressed once last kiss in farewell and got off the bed and began the process of pleating his kilt. I lay back and curled around my large stomach, child finally still, and drifted off again to the fine sight of a large Scotsman’s bare bottom disappearing into the folds of his plaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Any feedback is welcome, and any story ideas as well. I think there will be a couple more chapters in this fic.


	4. Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the birth was all supposed to be one chapter, but this got a little long, so hopefully I will have the second part up in the not too distant future. Enjoy!

It was sometime later in the afternoon, I was helping Jenny and the kitchen servants prepare dinner for the night. My mind was restless and I couldn’t help but think about how much I wanted to find Jamie and have him finish what he started earlier this morning. Ever since the morning sickness had passed, I found that my libido had increased much more than it did the first time around. My need for Jamie became almost insatiable, much to his delight, but every day now was becoming more uncomfortable than the last. My lower back pained me to no end, my breasts ached with the influx of milk, and it felt as though my stomach should be a mass of blue and purple from the amount the child kicked me. As much as I was hesitant about the upcoming birth for medical reasons, I found myself wishing to have the child out of me every hour. 

I must have made some sound of displeasure, or perhaps it was just my face that prompted Jenny to give me a sympathetic and knowing glance. She chuckled and put down the knife she was using to chop the onions for the stew. She pulled up a chair, grabbed my hand and tugged me to plop down on it. 

“Ye’ll sit down for a moment and gather yer wits. I ken what it’s like so far gone. Like ye want to peel your skin off and ye wish the child would come every minute,” Jenny said. 

I sighed and let out a chuckle at her mind reading abilities. I put my hands on my massive stomach and let my head droop. I felt Jenny stop in front of me and she made a Scottish noise. I glanced up at her. She was appraising me, and I could tell she was coming up with some other idea. Content to let her think, I simply let my head fall back down again. 

Suddenly, I felt her grab my hands off my stomach and she yanked me off the chair. 

“Wha-“, I exclaimed at the sudden movement, which made the child strike a jab to my left kidney. Jenny grabbed the chair and took it across the room and then seemed to begin gathering things in a basket. 

I eyed her, annoyed at being uprooted. 

“Would you like to explain to me what you’re doing?” I said, hoping my voice sounded as sour as I thought it did to my ears. 

I supposed it did because she smirked a little, and came to stand in front of me and handed me the basket. 

“Ye need to be outside, Claire. Fresh air will do ye good instead of being cooped up in here like my brother wants ye. Go and pick some herbs or tend to the gardens, or even just walk about to get some fresh air. There’s some food to get ye through the rest of the day until supper.” She gave me a small push to the door, and went back to grab her knife. 

I stared at her, dumfounded. “But don’t you need help with supper-“ I started to protest. 

She waved the hand carrying the big knife in a dismissive manner. “Nay, we’ll manage. Get on with ye.” And she began chopping again. Clearly the conversation was over.

Seeing as though I had no option to object, I began to slowly shuffle towards the door, muttering obscenities under my breath. As I grabbed my shall from one of the ever-present servants, I heard her call, “Don’t wander off too far!”

As reluctant as I was to walk any amount in my advanced state, I had to grudgingly admit that Jenny was right. As I breathed in the fresh air, I felt more relaxed and at ease than I have in days. My steps became a bit quicker and lighter as the fresh, crisp Scottish air renewed me. It was quite a nice day out, blue skies for a change with only a slight chill to the air. Except for the aching in my back from my elephant sized stomach, I felt better than I had in days. 

I found myself so content to just be out of the house, I didn’t realize that I had walked nearly a few miles into the small, dense forest near by the estate. I was originally just going to try and find some rosemary, but my mind was too distracted with the joy at being unwatched for the first time in weeks. Perhaps, I could even convince Jamie to accompany me on a walk tonight. If he found out I was out I was on my own now, he would scold me for days. I sighed and decided to take a little rest in the shade of one of the big trees. It took me a few minutes to get to ground level without toppling over, and I finally found a somewhat comfortable spot with my back against the tree and nibbled on some bread and cheese that Jenny had packed me. Then, full and tired from the walk, I simply let my mind drift to the movements of the baby, ignoring the small ache in my back. 

I must have drifted off for sometime, for I came abruptly awake when I felt a large pain in my lower back again. I thought this was probably a sign of false labor, but to be on the safe side I made up my mind to go back to the house. I was using the tree to help myself up on my feet as I felt another stabbing pain. 

“Ah!” I exclaimed as the pain rippled down my stomach. I was still holding on to the tree catching my breath when I felt a gush of liquid run down my thighs. 

My mind was rationally telling me that my water just broke and I was going into labor. The small back pains I was feeling all night and this morning wasn’t false like I thought, but the early stages of actual labor. 

I let out a large breath as I leaned back against the tree, trying to decide the best course of action. I could risk the walk to the house by myself, or I could simply wait here until someone came and found me. With the breathtaking pains, I felt the best choice was to simply wait here. Jamie usually came back in the afternoon for food and to check on me, hopefully Jenny or one of the servants would inform him of my whereabouts. 

I struggled back down to the grass to sit down and tried to breath deeply and not panic. It wasn’t too soon, two weeks early means a perfectly developed baby, maybe a little on the small side, but healthy. I tried to reassure myself of this fact to try and calm my mind. Anxiety and stress would be the worst thing for you now, I told myself.

I dozed on and off throughout the pains, trying not to think about how long it has been since they started. The contractions were about seven minutes apart, but that could change at any moment. I was focused on counting the seconds with my eyes sealed shut, when suddenly I felt a presence near me. 

I opened my eyes and brought my head up to meet the eyes of a less than enthused Murtaugh. He was looking at me with dispassionate eyes. He shook his head at me, sighed, and stooped to help me up. 

“What in Gods name are ye doing out her, woman. Yer husband has the whole farm looking for ye. He’s gone mad with worry,” he said with a very disapproving and exasperated tone as he helped me to my feet. I let out a cry as another pain gripped me. I clutched my stomach and tried to breath through it. I felt Murtaugh start and peered into my pained face. 

“Christ! Is the bairn coming?!” he exclaimed and he suddenly grabbed me tighter to him and put a hand on my contracting stomach. 

“I rather think so!” I said breathlessly. “Will you help me back to the house or are we to discuss the weather as well?” 

I felt him chuckle and sigh and then he asked, “Can ye walk or should I carry ye?” I was about to answer before he made up his own mind and leaned down to grab me and hoisted me into his arms as if I was a log. 

I heard him let out all of his breath as he began walking. “How many stones do ye weight?” He asked accusingly. 

We finally made it to the house after some struggle. The contractions were about five minutes apart now and more painful than ever. As we came into view of the house, I saw one of the stable boys that Jamie must have deployed to keep watch catch a glimpse of us and yell out. 

“My larid! The mistress is over here,” he yelled loudly as he took off running, presumably to wherever Jamie was hunting for me.

The pains were taking up most of my attention at the moment, but I did at least have enough awareness to ask Murtaugh one question. 

“How mad do you think he will be?”

I felt him snort and squinted as the bob of bright copper hair appeared around the turn of the road, atop of Donas, and immediately swung off the beast when he got sight of me, tossing the reins carelessly to the boy would followed right behind him.

“Well, let’s just say it’s a good thing he’ll have a new son to distract him, it might be a good few days until he remembers to scold ye properly.” He said in his usually straightforward, honest manner.

He didn’t have time to say much else before Jamie was before us, running determinedly to where Murtaugh stood, still holding me in his arms. He was still a few yards away, but that didn’t stop him from the shouting. 

“Sassenach! Do ye ken how worried I’ve been? Do ye have any sense at all? Jenny should have never suggested such a notion of ye to go out by yourself! And for you to venture so far out, while yer as big as a house, that I have to send the whole damn farm to search for ye because I coudna find ye! Do ye ken…,” he suddenly stopped his frantic, angry rant as he came close enough to see the pained expression on my face. This alarmed him very much and he sprinted the last few feet to me. 

He came up to Murtaugh and took me gently out of his arms and into his own. I immediately became more at ease, even though the movement made the contraction worse. And then Jamie became tender as milk, which was his usually reaction when I was in pain. He began to make soothing Galeic sounds as he began to walk into the house. 

“What’s amiss, lassie?” He asked as he walked through the door way. “Let’s get ye in bed, mo nighean donn,” he said, not waiting for me to respond. 

I let out a deep breath as the contraction finally passed. My temples were damp and my fingernails were embedded into Jamie’s shirt. 

I was working up the ability to speak when we passed Jenny on the way to the stairs with little Kitty on her hip. She took one look at my flushed face and Jamie’s unaware one. 

“Ouch, the bairns’s coming then. I’ll tell Fergus to go get the midwife directly. I’ll give wee Kitty to Mrs. Crook and be up to help ye, Claire.” And then she was she a flurry of skirts as she turned. 

I felt Jamie start and he 

peered down to look at my face. 

“The barin’s coming?” He asked rather dumbly in my pained opinion. 

I let out an impatient breath, wanting to be in bed before the next contraction comes.

“Yes, I rather think so at this point if the shooting pain is anything to go by. Do hurry, please.”

I heard him swallow hard, but he finally began walking, taking each stair extremely carefully, calculating every step of the way up to the second floor and to our bedroom and at last, to large bed. 

As he laid me gently on the bed, I glanced up at his face, which had gone white and stiff. I gently brought my hand up to cup his cheek. His eyes immediately looked down at me, and I realized just how terrified he was about what was about to happen. I was suddenly overcome with tenderness for him, a man scared out of his wits that his wife might die in the coming hours or at the least face a serious illness. 

He didn’t let go of me once he set me down, and instead tightened his hold as though he must lay his hands on me or else I might disappear in that exact moment. His eyes searched my face for a long time, and I didn’t know quite what he was looking for. I stroked his cheek, gently brushing my thumb under his stricken eyes, which explained to me the depth of his terror without words. 

Please, don’t leave me, they said, don’t leave me alone here, I couldn’t bear it. 

My own eyes prickled with tears, and I tried to speak very soft, and in a comforting manner.

“Everything’s going to be alright, love. I’m going to be fine, I swear it.” I said, as I implored his eyes to understand the truth in mine. I could see a faint glimmer of tears in his own eyes, which made my heart break even more.

His hands gripped mine hard enough to rub the bones together. He bowed his head for a moment and nodded slightly while sniffling ever so quietly, trying so hard to keep his own fears from making my own greater. 

He brought his head up after a few moments and attempted a small smile; I realized how much work it took to put it there, and leaned down to press a gentle but strong kiss to my forehead. 

“Aye,” he whispered, “You’ll be fine. And soon enough ye will have our wee bairn in your arms.” He said, and I felt that the smile transformed into something a little bit more authentic.

“I’m always right, aren’t I?” I said, trying to ease him and myself.

He chuckled against my forehead and brushed my damp curls behind my ears. 

“Aye. Sassenach, ye have-“ his response was cut short as I let out a small cry as the next contraction cam over me. I doubled over and clutched my stomach to somehow try and control the pain. This one was so strong, I barley noticed Jamie’s rubbing on my back, a little to fast to sooth. He pried one of my hands off my belly and let me grip it.

I let out a large breath a few moments later as the pain eased a bit. I became aware that Jamie was kissing the same spot on my temple repeatedly, which started to irrationally annoy me.

I leaned away from him and let go of his hand. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my heartbeat as Jamie continued to mumble Galeic to me. This was how Jenny found us some minutes later as she entered the room with a pitcher and rags. She walked over to the bedside table, pushing Jamie aside, and placed the items on the table. She glanced at her brother fleetingly. 

“Ye can leave now, brother. Dinna fret, I’ll take good care of yer wife.” Jenny said with a conviction so strong that even I believed as she poured water from the pitcher into the basin.

Jamie glanced at her and then back at me, helpless, as she began mopping my sweat-ridden forehead with some of the cool water from the basin as another contraction ripped through me. 

During the shuddering pain, I felt him let go of me and begin to start reluctantly edge closer to the door. My mind suddenly panicked, as if he disappeared, so would my grasp on the world. I couldn’t bear to see him actually leave, the thought of it bringing a sudden gush of tears down my cheeks and a gasping sob that didn’t have as much to due with the psychical pain than the emotional distress of my voice of reason leaving me in the time I needed it most.

“No!” I gasped hoarsely and reached out a hand to him as if I could will him to stay with my mind. “Please! Stay, Jamie. I can’t bear to have you leave yet! I need you, now,” I pleaded with him, making myself speak through the pain.

Jamie looked startled at this, but within seconds came rushing back to my side, moving past Jenny who had stopped her attentions to me, and brought his head down to kiss me gently and chastely. He looked into my eyes, not a inch from my own, and said in a very strong, authoritative voice, “I wilna leave ye ever, Claire. So long as ye wish me to be here, here I’ll be.” 

The irrational tears lessened at his promise and I clutched his forearm as if it was an anchor to keep me from slipping away into the dark haze of pain.

Jenny looked down disapprovingly at me, clucking her tongue. She assessed Jamie and I, sealed together as if we were actually attached. She shook her head and handed Jamie the wet rag.

“Fine, ye can stay until the midwife gets here, but ye’ll be of use.” She said and then walked away to the door. 

“I’ll go make some broth to keep your strength up, ye will need it.” And then she was gone.

Jamie glanced after her and said something under his breath, as he brushed the back of my neck with the rag. I laughed as the contraction finally eased. 

Jamie looked back down at me, the tension in his shoulders easing as he heard my laugh. He brushed the rag down the front of my neck, water droplets running down into my bodice. 

“Alright for now, lass?” he asked. 

I heaved myself up into a sitting position and tried another deep breath.

“No, I need to get out of these clothes. Now.” I said, as nicely as I could under the circumstances.

“Aye, of course,” he responded quickly, grateful that there was something he could help with. 

He supported my back with one arm as he grabbed my hand and helped me ease up with the other. I groaned as I became vertical once more, shocked that this felt much better now than lying down. Jamie untied my skirts and then unlaced my half-tied corset, leaving me in my shift and stockings. I relaxed a bit more when the cool air rushed on my skin, leaving it a mess of goose bumps. 

Jamie put one hand on my shuddering belly, his facial expression a mix between fascination and awe as to what was happening now and what was going to happen soon. 

I put my hand over his. “You’ve seen birth before,” I said, softly.

He looked up at me, a gaze of childlike blue. He looked back down at our hands.

“Animals, aye. But never a woman, and certainly never…my wife,” he whispered, his voice breaking on the word wife. 

I squeezed his hand, hard. “I know that-“ I was going to continue to sooth him, but the sharp pain of another contraction stopped me. I squeezed his hand hard enough to break it, as I gasped to him, “I need to walk!” 

“Walk?” He asked, confused as to what I was talking about. “Ye need to be lying do-“

“Walk,” I interrupted him, “Now.” I started to step away, placing both of my hands on my lower back and began to pace around the perimeter of the room. Jamie watched me, helplessly. He said something under his breath and came over to where I was panting, near the window. He grabbed my hand and put his other around my waist. 

“Fine,” he said, exasperated, “walk, it is.” And we began to paced slowly around the room, stopping once every few minutes, when a contraction took me and left me bent over my stomach, gasping through the pain, with Jamie whispering soothingly in Galeic and rubbing my aching back.

This was the way Fergus found us some time later as he rushed into the room, too excited to knock. 

“The midwife’s here! She’s just come around the bend in the road. I’ll bring her up as soon as she’s in the house!” He exclaimed and promptly rushed back through the door. 

Jamie and I both looked at each other, every emotion displayed on our faces, unguarded. There was hope, fear, excitement, but most of all there was love. And we both knew this would get us through whatever happens next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always comments are much appreciated! I love to hear what you all think.


	5. Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So based on the comments, some of you may be a wee bit surprised at this chapter. This is where the story gets a little more AU. But don't worry, see the end comments after you're done. I'm also taking prompt ideas, so if you have a request, just leave a comment.

“Push hard now, lassie!”

I took one moment from the agonizing pain of pushing to glare at the midwife as her bony, weathered fingers were pulling and rubbing places in me no one should ever been touching.

I let out a loud grunt as the contraction eased for a few seconds. I had been pushing for nearly an hour now and there seemed to be little progress, each push causing nothing to much to happen. I sagged back against Jamie- who refused to leave me even after the Jenny and the midwife tried to force him out. However, his strength and height was no match for the two tiny women. 

“Fine, though it’s no place for a man to bide. If ye must y’ell git on behind yer wife to support her back. I’m no goin’ to sit here and argue with yer daftness,” she said with a defeated sigh and muttered insults in Gaelic at him under her breath that I was too tired to translate.

 

The midwife, who name has already escaped me, had come into the room without a word, unpacked a few items from her basket and took me from Jamie’s arms and made me lie down on the stripped bed. And then proceeded to yank up my shift and used her cold fingers to examine my progress without a word of introduction. She was shorter than even Jenny was and looked to be about one-hundred and five with her wrinkled face and slight hunch back, but Jenny informed me she was only in her sixties. She had warned me about the midwife’s demeanor from when she delivered young Jamie a few years back.

“Oh aye, by the end of it ye will be wantin’ to knock out the few teeth she has left, but she’s a fine midwife. She won’t be talking much until the end when all she will do is scream and yell for ye to push the bairn out and by then ye’ll be wishing she never opened her mouth.” Jenny glanced at me and smiled, and reached over to pat my hand.  
“But she’ll see ye though it and ye’ll be wanting to kiss her after ye hold the bairn for the first time in thanks for getting them into the world safely.”

I was hoping that would be soon. I was tired to the bone and aching in about every place imaginable. The baby seemed to be as stubborn as their father and didn’t feel like making their appearance any time soon. My strength was waning and I felt as though I couldn’t go on with the pain much longer. My whole body throbbed and I felt my pulse pounding in my head. 

“Seas,” the midwife said abruptly and moved to grab a vile of oil. 

“She means stop pushing, Sassenach,” Jamie translated in my ear and then kissed my damp, thorbbing temple. I was gripping his hands to the point where I thought I heard a crack during the last push, but he remained as strong as ever, whispering words of encouragement and love into my ear and whipping my sweaty brow with the damp rag. His solid presence was the only thing preventing me from wanting to curl up into a ball, give up and cry like a child myself.

Jenny and the midwife were talking in low whispers together. It was taking too long, I knew that. The baby should have been born already. I was beginning to worry, and their whispers didn’t help the matter at all. I was overcome with shame, shame at the fact that my weakness may harm our baby, or that I might break my promise and leave Jamie without his wife. I felt weak and useless, and overcome with emotion of failure, I began to weep.

Jamie felt my sobs and let go of my hands to wrap his arms around me tightly, rubbing his hands on my stomach in a soothing manner, trying to calm me down.

“Hush, mo gràidh,” Jamie whispered gently, “it will all be over soon.” His voice was soothing in my ear, but I heard the worry behind the surface of calm, which made me sob even harder.

“I’m sorry, Jamie! I can’t do this; I can’t push much longer.” I admitted and leaned my head down as I tried to braced myself for the next agonizing contraction I felt coming. 

Jamie hugged me harder in response as the midwife and Jenny came back over, having come to a decision on how to get the labor going. 

“Aye, ye can. Ye are the bravest lass I’ve ever come to know and ye’ll make it through this like ye have made it through everything else.” He said, his voice so strong and sure, echoing his strong grip on me and the baby.

The midwife came up beside me right in time for the next contraction, brushing Jamie’s hands away. I doubled over in pain across my huge stomach and she began to push down on my belly so hard I thought it might pop, as she tried to push the baby downward.

“Now, push hard,” she said again as she continued to manipulate my stomach. 

I heaved against Jamie with all my might as I pushed as hard as I could, willing the child to come out. I sucked in another deep breath and pushed using the bed as leverage while gripping Jamie’s clammy hands. I couldn’t tell who was shaking more, me or him.

Jenny popped up from her place between my legs, where she had been gently rubbing oil. 

“Just like that Claire! I think I see the head!” She exclaimed with as much relief as excitement. She knew all to well about how dangerous the situation was. I felt a huge amount of relief myself and felt a little more energy come back to me.

Everything after that happened fairly quickly in juxtaposition to the past hours. The midwife began pressing down even harder in response to this declaration. I let out a hoarse scream as I felt the the baby begin to crown. I felt a gush of liquid rush out between my legs as my insides felt like they were being torn in two. 

The midwife moved down to where Jenny was to examine this herself. 

“Alright, now one more big push and ye should have yer bairn,” she stated matter of factly as she whipped the sweat off her own forehead.

I leaned back against Jamie, bracing myself for one last agonizing push. He tightened his grip on my hands and kissed the back of my sweat ridden neck. 

“Only one more, Claire and we’ll be meetin’ our wee one,” he said with an undertone of such happiness that I almost began to weep again but now from joy, not failure. 

I squeezed his hands back and heaved up once more, pushing with every ounce of strength I had left. The midwife reached her hands inside me and helped guide the baby. I felt the head emerge half way and gave once shove accompanied by a grunt of pain as I felt the baby slip out of me and into the readied hands of the midwife.

I collapsed against Jamie panting hard as Jenny and the midwife huddled over the baby hidden in a mass of bloodied blankets from my view. 

A wave of utter fear came over me as I began to notice the silence of the room with no cries to be heard. 

“Is he alright?” I cried, as I struggled to sit up to check. 

The midwife ignored me and still continued to fuss over the child who was still out of my sight. I felt Jamie sit up behind me, tense hands gripping my shoulders as hard as I must have been gripping his hands before. It seemed as though I waited for her answer for years but in reality it was probably only a few seconds.

The answer came as a hoarse cry at first, and then a full blown wail from tiny form wrapped in the white linen. I saw Jenny’s shoulder sag in relief and mine did as well as tears ran down my face in utter gratefulness. I heard Jamie thank god behind me as the midwife gathered the baby in her arms. 

“A wee bit of muck stuck in the throat, but the wee laddie is bonny now.” She said as she brought the huddle of blankets over to me and set the child on my chest.

“A boy? A laddie? And he’s well? He’s healthy?” Jamie asked in a whispered voice, hands still gripping my shoulders.

I peered down into the cloth and saw perfection staring back at me in the form of wide blue eyes and red fuzz. All my attention was suddenly fixed on this one tiny bundle in my arms, who had stopped crying for a moment and was waving his tiny fists in the air. I examined him for a moment as objectively as I could under the circumstances. His breathing signs, color, and activity were all good. A bonny laddie indeed.

“Oh,” I said, brokenly as silent tears continued to flow down my face. “Yes, he’s perfect, Jamie,” I said in relief as I gazed down at our angelic son.

He was stretching, moving to his full length in my arms. I reached down and gently stroked his cheek, as if he were made of glass. His skin was smooth as silk with flushed fat red cheeks. He suddenly yawned and shut his blue eyes, the excitement of the world fading. I laughed, overcome with emotion at finally seeing what I so desperately wanted for so many years. A baby. A son. My own little Jamie.

I felt my big Jamie shake with laughter too at this display, the rumbling against my back soothing and warm. I turned to look at his face and found his glassy blue eyes fixed on the baby’s now closed tiny ones. I felt more tears slip down my face as I watched my husband’s face as he watched our son, wet with tears and an emotion I had never seen on him before. I smiled from ear to ear and leaned up to kiss his damp cheek. 

He turned his eyes away from the baby’s and looked into mine. I felt the blood leave my heart at his gaze, as tender as the skin on our baby’s cheek. One hand came around mine to hold the babe with me and the other reached to stroke my own cheek.

He kissed me, gentle and slow. “Thank ye,” he whispered, his voice breaking with his emotion. “Thank ye for this miracle, Claire. He’s perfect,” he mumbled against my lips. He reached out a hand to stroke the red fuzz, barley touching the small head as if the child were a soap bubble. 

“A dhia, he’s so tiny!” Jamie exclaimed, laughing and crying all at once, arms shaking around me.

A small whimper came from my arms at this exclamation as the baby blue eyes popped back open. 

“Shhh, love,” I murmured as I began to rock the bundle, the instinct as natural as time itself.

“He’ll be wanting his supper I expect,” the midwife said. 

This startled me, I had forgotten that the world consisted of more than three people for a moment. I glanced up at both Jenny and the midwife. Jenny was smiling, gazing at her brother watching his own child with a mix of understanding and joy. 

“Let yer husband hold the bairn for a moment, we’ll be needin’ to finish up a bit here,” the midwife said as she came over and took the baby from my reluctant arms while pulling on Jamie’s sleeve to get him on his feet. 

He gently supported my back as I eased back on the pillows and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I closed my eyes for a moment, while letting out a deep breath and finally let my self relax for the first time in nearly twenty-four hours, all the worry about what this day might bring.

A son. A perfect little son.

The midwife put the baby in Jamie’s arms and he leaned down to kiss his tiny forehead as he had just done with mine. He looked up and smiled at me, and began to rock the wiggly baby in his large arms. The baby looked even smaller in his embrace. He let out a wail so loud, it surprised Jamie, who began to rock him and to hum tunelessly as Jenny came over to have better look, smiling at her nephew and brother.

“A moment, a chuisle. Yer mam has a bit more work and then she’ll fed ye directly,” he whispered as he leaned down to kiss his tiny son once more, beaming with pride as he gazed lovingly down at his flesh and blood. 

The midwife had been busing herself between my legs and mumbling.

“Ok, lass one more push and we’ll be all done,” she said, in a soft voice I hadn’t heard from her all night. It seemed Jenny was right again. After holding the child in my arms, safe and healthy, I did want to throw my arms around her in thanks. 

I gave one last push and felt the afterbirth slipped out. The midwife immediately wrapped it up and put it aside then began cleaning up. She gathered her things, and with a swirl of her skirts moved towards the door. 

She turned for a moment back towards me and glanced at Jamie, who was too absorbed with his new son to notice her.

I thought I saw a small smile on her face but I can’t be sure. She looked back at me, her sharp eyes assessing me lying back on the pillows. 

“Good luck to ye, I have a feeling I’ll be seeing ye in the not too distant future,” she said, and opened the door and walked out. 

I laughed out loud at this and looked back towards Jenny and Jamie as the baby began to cry in earnest, hungry for his first meal. 

Jenny came over to me and kissed my cheek and whispered “I’m proud of ye, good sister. I’ll leave the three of ye now,” she smiled and moved to kiss her brother’s cheek and left the room to our little family.

Jamie leaned back down and placed the baby back into my waiting arms. He knelt down on the side of the bed as I untied the ribbon of my shift, baring my large, swollen breast. I turned the baby towards me and he latched on with a grip so fierce it made me wince as the milk began to flow into his hungry mouth. 

Jamie laughed at this display. “He’ll be needin’ no instruction in that matter, aye?”

I laughed and reached down to stoke the tiny cheek again while he suckled away, eyes shut tight in concentration. 

“Like father, like son,” I said laughing gently, not wanting to jostle the baby as he ate. 

Jamie chuckled again, and the tips of his ears flushed with pink as he gazed down, reaching over to stroke the baby’s tiny foot through the blankets.

“He’ll be needin’ a name,” he said as the baby took hold of his pointer finger in his tiny pink hand, which made a few more tears escape Jamie’s eyes. 

I smiled and gently brushed the liquid from his cheek and looked back at our child.

“He does indeed. William, will it be?” I asked, gently, gazing back down at him.

We had decided on this name some time back if it was a boy, Jamie wishing to honor his older brother whose role he was fulfilling as Laird of Lallybroch. 

Jamie reached to brush the red hair on the baby’s head again, the same color as his own and the same color Willie’s was. 

“Aye,” Jamie said softly with a smile, gazing down at his son, “Aye, William he is.”

I smiled in response and took William’s other tiny hand in my finger, which had been resting on my breast as he ate.

“Hello, William,” I said, a few more tears escaping my own eyes as I watched him slowly begin to stop eating, his tiny belly full after only one breast. His latch broke and his eyes slid shut in contentment, mouth ringed with milk as he fell back asleep in my arms.

Jamie let go of William’s hand and mine and walked over the the other side of the bed and got in beside me, putting an arm tight around me and the other echoing my grip on William. He leaned over and kissed my temple again.

“I love ye, Claire,” he whispered, voice so tight with emotions, gratitude, happiness, thankfulness and of course, love were all there.

I brought my eyes back up to his and just gazed at him for a moment. His mouth curved in a small smile, eyes tender and slightly moist, his ruddy red hair messy, and streaks from dried tears on his cheeks. This man who had given me everything I had ever asked for and more. A home, a place. A love that would stand the test of war and time itself. I leaned up to kiss his reddened lips with a passion that I hoped echoed my thoughts, and leaned back to whisper-

“I love you too, James Fraser, more than time itself.”

He nodded slightly to himself and sniffled again, tightening his arms around both me and the baby. And we both gazed back down at the evidence of this love, our tiny miracle, sleeping soundly in our arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it was a boy! Don't worry Brianna will be born! In this instance I just saw Jamie and Claire having a son first, so Bree will have an older brother. I think this is the end of this story, though I may write a little epilogue in the future. As always, comments are always welcome. I am also taking prompts, so if you have anything you would like to see, just leave a note :)


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue at last! This was such a fun series to write, but everything must end, sadly. Hope you enjoy!

The dipping of the mattress woke me from my light rest as I opened my eyes to the darkness pre-dawn. I must have dozed off after Jamie went to fetch Brianna from her bassinet, who had mostly likely woken the whole house from her wails. She had a louder cry than both her brothers combined. Jamie liked to joke that she would be mouthier than I was when she grew older.

“Aye, a nighean, there’s yer mam. Ye’ll be no needin’ to fret anymore.”

There was suddenly a loud whimper by my ear and a rough pull of a lock of my hair as my only daughter said good morning. 

I met the bonny blue eyes of my lass, bright with happiness. I smiled at her as she burrowed her little face into my shift, impatient for her meal. I looked up at her father as he gave her over to me. His ruddy curls were rumpled from sleep and his eyes still half shut as he crawled back into bed and burrowed his face into my shoulder, shoving his feet against my legs to search for my warmth against the chill of the big house. 

His warm breath tickled my shoulder and made me shiver as I untied my shift. Jamie always went to fetch the babies when they woke ever since William came along. His explanation made my heart swell.

“Tis’ only fair, Sassenach. I canna help feed them this young, so if you have to be wake, I will be too.”

I smiled as I heard his soft snore start up and leaned down to kiss the top of his head as Bree started her very early breakfast, head resting on the crook of my arm. I smoothed down her red fuzz as she nursed, finally quiet and content. 

This was my favorite part of the day, even though it was an ungodly time to be awake. It was our private moments. Before Jamie was swept away to deal with something on the farm or before I had to leave to attend to a sick tenant, these still frosty mornings where nothing seemed to exist or matter besides our peaceful little bubble of bliss. I gazed down at my daughter as I brushed my finger against her little, pink cheek. She was all Jamie with her red hair and blue eyes, she would be the replica of Ellen Fraser when she grew. 

Jamie stirred as I shifted to adjust Bree and sat up a little as he stretched and gave a big yawn. 

He gazed down at her, chuckling to himself as she suckled away. 

“She has an appetite to revival the boys too, aye?” 

I laughed as he reached down to kiss her forehead, making her wiggle in excitement from her father’s attention. 

She popped off me and smiled a big gummy grin at Jamie and shoved her chubby arms at him. Jamie smiled back at her, so big I thought his faced risked breaking into two pieces. He loved having a little girl and they adored each other to no end. 

This last pregnancy had been a hard one, leaving both Jamie and I terrified of the outcome. But we had pushed through both figuratively and literally. Her birth had left me very weak the first few weeks after, but she was worth it. Jamie and I were both thrilled at having a little girl. She was incredible, already displaying a huge personality at only three months old.

Jamie sat with his knees pressed against each other and sat her on his lap as he tickled her belly. She laughed and squealed loudly, legs flaring and arms waving. I smiled as I leaned against his side and rubbed my nose against his arm, inhaling the smell of linen and sleep. I reached out and tickled Bree’s little, creased foot as she continued to demand her father’s sole attention. She was already her daddy’s little girl and was from the second they laid eyes on each other. 

I wondered idly if we would have any more children. I was quite content to be blessed with our three beautiful babies. They were so much more than I ever imagined. 

As Jamie stroke her behind her ear, her lavender eyelids started to flutter shut. Jamie smiled at this and moved her so she lie between us.

She settled down back into her blissful dream world, sticking her thumb in her mouth as she drifted away. 

Jamie leaned over her tiny body and kissed me gently.

“Let us get a little more sleep, Sassenach. It shall be a day that requires a rested mind, I think.”

 

 

I came into the kitchen later that morning and saw my littlest boy eating his morning porridge with his cousins, his whole face messy as he shoved in spoonful after spoonful with mindless abandon. 

“Slow down, love!”

I laughed as I went to grab a cloth to clean him up. Robert’s head popped up from his breakfast and smiled a wide toothy grin at me. 

“Mama!” He exclaimed as I came over to sit by him. I leaned down to kiss his forehead in greeting and then proceeded with the useless task of trying to keep a three-year-old boy clean. I whipped away the sticky oats and honey from his cheeks and mouth. 

Robert put his arms up for me to hold him as I set the cloth aside. I smiled at him as I hoisted his sturdy body onto my hip. I wouldn’t be able to carry him much longer if he kept gaining mass in this fashion. He snuggled his brown waves into my shoulder contently. If Bree was a daddy’s girl, and William the diplomat, little Robert was a complete Mamma’s boy. He liked to follow me around everywhere, every since he could walk. 

Fittingly so, since he looked the most like me. He was the only one who had inherited my brown hair and golden eyes, though his eyes were a few shades darker than mine. At least one of my children beat the red-haired gene, I thought, chuckling under my breath. 

“Where’s Da, Mama?”

“I don’t know, darling. Let’s go find him.”

 

 

As I came into the sitting room with Robert in my arms, I saw Mrs. Crook hand a fussy Bree off to Jamie and a flash of more red as William sprinted to his father with small Jamie right behind him.

“Da! Can Jamie and I go with ye help with the harvesting? Please!”

I smiled at his demanding tone, trying to sound stern and authoritative to match his father at barley six years of age. 

Jamie stared down at him with amused patience. William had been asking to join in with his father and his uncle with the potato harvest ever since he learned what it was. Jamie faithfully replied-

“When yer a bit older, son. It’s a braw amount of work for such young laddies.”

William and wee Jamie, using their logic, demised that they grew older every day. That meant every day during harvest season, they would ask Jamie and Ian the same question. 

This morning was different though to my surprise. I walked over to sit on the couch with Robert still clinging to my neck like a starfish. 

William, catching sight of me ran over and grabbed my free hand.  
“Mama! Tell Da that we’re ready!”

I leaned down to kiss his bright head as he squirmed away, obviously too old for such attentions. 

Jamie glanced at me over Bree’s head and I smiled while shrugging slightly as I sat down. Jamie looked back down at both of the young, eager boys.

He seemed to make up his mind as he dropped down to their level to look them in the eyes, while still clutching on to Bree, who had taken up trying to eat one of Jamie’s curls.

He made sure to look them both in the eyes before speaking as he used his Larid’s gaze as I called it and then spoke very firmly.

“Do ye promise to do exactly as I tell ye when in the fields?”

“Yes!” Both boys answered at once in a high pitched exclamation that made Bree abandon Jamie’s hair and let out a wail of her own.

Jamie patted her on the back and made shushing sounds to calm her.

“And do ye promise to not cause any trouble to me, Ian, or any other of the tenants helping us?”

“Yes!” Both answered in a more hushed tone but no less enthused. 

They resembled the officers and solider I had seen during my times in the filed during the war. Though these soldiers a little smaller, they took their duties no less seriously. 

Jamie gave them both a stern look once more.

“Fine, both of ye can come, but I tell ye, if ye cause one tiny bit of a problem, there will be consequences, aye?”

Jamie told them while raising an eyebrow as he appraised them.

“Yes, Da!” “Yes, Uncle!”

Jaime’s lip twitched as he stood back up to his full height. “Go put on yer shoes, then,” he said.

Both boys scurried away faster than light as they both pushed and shoved each other to be the first prepared for duty.

“Daddy! I wanna help too!” Robert exclaimed as he jumped from my lap to waddle over to Jamie.

Jamie chuckled as he watched Robert with bemusement. Robert grabbed onto Jamie’s leg and tugged on his trousers.

Jamie knelt down and brushed one of his curls away from his eyes.

“Aye, I know you do, a chusile. That’s why I need ye here to help care for yer sister and mother.”

Jamie kissed him on the nose, making him giggle.

“Can ye do that for me, son?”

Robert looked at his father and nodded while reaching out to rub Bree’s arm. She turned her head from Jamie’s neck and appraised her brother with wide eyes. Deciding she was ok with his interruption of her father’s attention, she smiled a gummy smile at him and cooed. 

Jamie stood and handed me Bree, looking to where the other little boys had scampered off to. He kissed me briefly and the pressed a kiss to Bree’s head. 

“Wish me luck, Sassenach. God knows I’ll be needin’ it.”

 

I stretched my arms out in exhausted bliss and I settled down onto the sofa next to Jamie. I had been away for most of the day attending to one of the tenants, Mrs. McDougal, who had been suffering from an infection for the best part of a week. The walk was nearly three miles both ways and my bones ached as I settled myself, grabbing the glass of whiskey Jamie poured me with a grateful smile. I should have stayed the night, but I was more content to be sore from walking and get to kiss my children and husband goodnight. 

If peace was what I wanted, the mood around the great fireplace was like a warm and welcome hug. The fire creating the much needed heat to warm up my frigid bones and the sound of my sleeping children’s soft snores was always a calming effect.

Robert and William were both snuggled up together on the floor, mostly likely to have fallen asleep during Jamie’s many stories he delivered at night. Both boys would hang on his every word, anticipating the next event in his tales, fingers clenched in excitement until they eventually fell away into the land of dreams. 

Tonight must have been no different as they snored softly on the rug in front of the fire.

I placed Bree on her favorite resting place, Jamie’s chest. She had dozed most of the walk back from the McDougals, snug and warm in her blankets.

She curled herself into a small ball as her body relaxed once more. Jamie smiled down at her and rubbed his hand on her back gently.

I smiled at her and leaned my head against Jamie’s shoulder as he put his free arm to rest on my shoulders, leaning his head atop mine as he gazed down at our boys.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. I never could have imagined such a life. A life in a permeant place. A life where I could still practice my calling and tend to people whom I truly cared for. A life where I had not one perfect child, but three and perhaps more to come. A life with a husband who adored me and filled my heart and soul so fully that at time I though it might burst from happiness. 

There had been scarifies, suffering, and pain of course. There always is. There would be even more to come, life would get harder here. Life after the war hadn’t been easy at all. Though, I knew Jamie and I both would go through everything a million times again for this outcome, for this family, for our life together. 

“I can hear ye thinking, Sassenach. What’s on yer mind?” Jamie asked softly. 

I moved gently and slowly, looking up into his equally content eyes. Those eyes that made me melt every time I gazed into their ocean depth. I smoothed my hand down his cheek, rough with his afternoon stubble.

“I’m just happy,” I said as I looked from him to our slumbering children, the firelight making everything look like a scene from a film. 

In that moment, I tried to take a mental photograph that I could have with me always. When times were harder and we had little to eat, or when Jamie and I were old and gray, and we would watch our grown children and wonder how the time slipped through our fingers so quickly. I would be able to look back on this moment, a moment filled with such peace, I could imagine my bond from earth my breaking and I would float up in the sky like a weightless feather.

What would my life have been if I had never fallen through the stones and met destiny with my highlander? A lonely life, I thought.

“We are so lucky, Jamie,” I said quiet as a mouse. “I have everything I never thought I would ever get to experience. A home. Beautiful children. A family.”

I looked into his eyes, trying so hard to show him the depth of my feelings. My eyes watered as I looked at my husband, a man that had given me all of this. A man who loved me more than life itself.

“It’s all because of you, darling. Thank you,” my voice rough with emotion as tears ran down my face.

Jamie gathered me close, pressing me against him as much as Bree would allow. His free hand traced my tears away, following each track down the slope of my cheek, twisting down to my neck.

“It’s you, Claire, no me,” he murmured, equally as quiet, “you are the reason why we are here. The reason why we have our bairns. The reason I am home. If I had never stumbled upon ye that cold night, I wouldna have any of this.”

I grabbed the back of his head and kissed him hard, pouring all the love, happiness, and desire into the kiss, molding my lips into his. 

We broke apart a few minutes later. 

I cuddled into his side, resting my hand on Bree’s back, feeling her breath come and go. Jamie linked his hand over mine, over the promise of the future, of our legacy. A reminder that whatever happened, a part of our love would always live on. No matter where we were or how we get there, no matter the struggles and pain that the coming days would most certainly bring, we were infinite. And that would always be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, let me know what you think!


End file.
